An Instrument of Peace

For weeks, I had a deep urge to call my father. Finally, last week, I did and found that he was not doing well. I am thankful for the freedom to pack and travel to see about him. As I have other commitments, I left today, returning to my home. This morning, while I was stripping the bed for the next guest, the Prayer of St. Francis came to mind. Each morning I choose a chant to lead my meditation and agreed to follow this inclination. Standing before the bed, praying, I realized that an instrument of peace was most necessary in a time of war, conflict, dissension, or distress.

In that moment, I was thinking about the siblings who would follow me and how we purpose to leave and arrive at staggered dates thereby avoiding conflict, angst, or confrontation. And here I am praying to be an instrument of peace. When I am asked about this arrangement, I generally reply that I am praying for love and compassion around this situation. I figure there may come a moment when we will all stand together, but it is not this day.

I arrived to find my father weary. He drove up just as I was contemplating how to get into the house. My brother had traveled from the west coast and they were just back from the hospital with news that my mother's passing is imminent. Her liver has shut down and they have narrowed her time to days. My father, weary, distraught, and broken merely said, they don't know. It's in God's hands. He slowly moved across the room leaning on the table for support as he made his way toward a corner chair. The doctors want all the family gathered around. He is resistant. (At this point, we have all come to visit.)

Each step along this journey brings me a deeper understanding of the world I lived in and the trauma we endured before escape. Only the visiting brother and myself left home without return. Only the children born outside of September have heirs or families (that we know). We are each carrying a different perspective of what the death of the matriarch will mean.

Along my personal journey I have been committed to a daily practice of reading The Prophet, reflecting on the selection and journaling, chanting and praying, moving my body and focusing on clean foods. Most days I am happy and satisfied with nuts and seeds. When I take in warm foods a trigger trips and I find I am famished. These last days have taken an emotional toll. I can see it in my face and feel it in my body.

I am returned to my space and relax in the peace I have created here. I will return again to my father's house to be a blessing there. Wherever you are on this journey between dust and the return to dust, find joy and be blessed.

Namaste

A Shift in Perspective

During this season I am committed to spiritual renewal and have set the following process forward:

• Daily physical movement - yoga, pilates, a walk outside
• Chants and meditation
• Affirmations
• Reading The Prophet 
• Reflecting on read passage
• Introspective review and writing - journal
• Post to this blog and at least one other
• Identify areas of self-indulgence and move away from those that do not support my growth and understanding

There are other blogs I will be following during this season. If you have a suggestion, please leave it in the comment section.

Be blessed on this journey.

Namaste

Forty Days of Focused Intention

The number forty symbolizes the death with oneself and the spiritual rebirth. It represents the complete and sufficient period to finish a work. It is a time for shaking off encumbrances and breaking through to spiritual renewal. 

The Lenten Season allows us to join with others around the world in making a personal and communal shift. Much like New Year’s resolutions, we garner strength from others who are going through a similar process. Different from resolutions, we will find solace with many who are faithful to their pledge. 

The methods and processes for observing Lent will vary from daily dietary fast, abstinence from defined behaviors and pleasures, daily and constant prayer and supplication, attendance of religious services, and giving to the those less fortunate either through service or alms. Some people are silent and personal during this period of contemplation, while others are exclamatory, begging pardon for their lack of participation due to self-denial.

This is my second year honoring this shared time observance. In the past, I set aside a specific time and cleansing routine for spring. It turns out that lent means spring, from the German lentz and the Dutch, lente. It was named after the lengthening of the days. I began my cleanse with the equinox. This year I begin on Ash Wednesday, though Eastern Orthodox began today, Ash Monday.

This season let us give up self-recrimination, doubt, regrets, and thoughts of anger of resentment. Let us daily affirm our connection with one another by reaching out to touch another human being in love and compassion. Follow along or share your reflections during the next forty days. 

No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting it, not by giving in. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later.

That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it.

(C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, p 13)

Lent is not a deprivation, but rather a reminder of what you have been blessed with. By depriving self of your blessings, you remember them with more appreciation (Mom H.)

Blessed Be!